


come as you are, as you were, as i want you to be

by msbrokenbrightside



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Asphyxiation, Autoerotic Asphyxiation, Death, Demigirl, Demigirl Vorugal, F/F, Femslash February, Hate Sex, La Petite Mort Quite Literally, Manipulation, Multiple Pairings, Non-Explicit Sex, Oral Sex, POV Multiple, Reincarnation, Rough Sex, Snippets, Trans Female Character, Trans Vorugal, Vaginal Sex, Villains
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-23 11:05:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9653246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msbrokenbrightside/pseuds/msbrokenbrightside
Summary: Some ladies lovin (and not lovin) other ladies. Snippets centered around Raishan pairings; canon compliant, canon divergent, and also alternate universes inside.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Femslash February! My forever girl needs some lovin. Good amount of smut but everything is consensual. Vorugal is a trans demigirl in this fic so I'll be using she/her & they/them during their parts. (Disclaimer I am cis so if you find any problems with how I've written Vorugal please let me know via comments or you can message me on tumblr.)
> 
> Anyway, get it, Raishan. 
> 
> (["Come As You Are (Cover)" by Witches of East End](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRRbenQv5Fo))

“It’s quite the library,” Anna comments, adjusts the strap of her bag to prevent it from irritating her shoulder. It took them some time to get here, ‘ _Not as long as it took Vox Machina_ ,’ Raishan had commented, full of pride as she stroked Anna’s hair back in to place. The bridge had been difficult to maneuver but Anna managed well enough to draw compliments from Raishan. To others, Anna imagines the constant tests of wit Raishan throws her way would be frustrating. Enough to drive them away but not Anna.

The chance to test her skills keeps Anna’s interest piqued and the reward for her success—the gasp Ripley is allowed to draw from Raishan as she pushes her hard against the stone wall—keeps Anna beside Raishan.

 

* * *

 

In the time between Raishan’s teeth sinking into Vorugal’s neck and their death Vorugal remembered when Raishan had proposed the Conclave.

A harsh blizzard had come down upon both of them, the end of a long chase, Vorugal remembered having thought how small Raishan was despite her age. It had been a good hunt, her smallness allowed Raishan to avoid many of Vorugal’s attempted grapples, which provided a nice challenge for them. When Raishan had finally able to convince Vorugal to join the Conclave they had offered some brief shelter to her. Inside Vorugal’s cave they allowed Raishan to eat from the remains of Vorugal’s morning hunt—Raishan would not be allowed to hunt on their land, Conclave or not—and while she ate Vorugal asked questions about their Cinder King. They had heard the tale in passing but Raishan was able to provide much more insight. Thordak was strong and would be stronger once out of his prison, tied to its primordial power. Vorugal admired strength, aspired constantly to be strong, so this pleased them.

Raishan had also pleased Vorugal in this way. During the talk Vorugal saw the curse, splintered up beneath Raishan’s scales, as she spoke. To live with such weakness and still thrive roused favor from Vorugal. It had even sparked their brief affair. Nights spent together, speaking of plans, hunting, curling around one another.

That favor was lost however, Vorugal now saw that Raishan’s strength was not her hardiness but her deceit. In the eyes of a hunter like Vorugal this was the worse betrayal. If they had merely been fighting as they had the first night and Raishan had won Vorugal would accept such a death. But not this, not allied with prey, not with tricks.

Raishan’s last words rang one final thought from Vorugal.

“ _You, you were not worth it._ ”

 

* * *

 

 _This is not your domain_ , Raishan reflects and is both happy to have her thoughts back and infuriated that she had lost them in the first place.

 _No, it’s not_ , Melora replies.

She is dead but somehow the goddess is here still.

Melora is not visible to Raishan but her presence is felt. She feels like nature, forests and ocean, Raishan’s home was a deep forest until the druids tried to build a temple on her land. And Melora has been clawing at Raishan’s throat to steal her breath for over a century; even if her mind was still dulled Raishan would recognize Melora’s presence.

 _Damn the druid girl_ , Raishan thinks and does not know which one she speaks of.

Melora twists through Raishan’s veins and the pain is excruciating. Flames burn through Raishan quickly, like a forest fire, and she is dizzy from it all quickly. Not wholly distinct from the haze and heat of completion, Raishan contemplates, as her thoughts refocus. The space between death and pleasure overlap, Raishan knows.

She has been dying for some time now.

 _This is not my domain_ , Melora repeats, even as Raishan feels water fill her lungs, causing a new burn to flare inside her.

 _But you are,_ Melora finishes and Raishan screams.

* * *

 

Anna enjoys challenges. The world is full of dullness, full of uninteresting people, so finding something that truly sparks her interest is a treasure.

Very fitting then, that when Anna looks up from between thighs—and Ripley delights at how they tremble over her shoulders—she finds eyes as gold as coins.

 _Raishan_ , Anna repeats in her head, as the hand clawing at her scalp grips Anna’s hair tighter. The name had passed through her mind unnoticed, as did the originally blue eyes, but now the name and the being that bears it pique her interest. The image of the plain and lonely young woman found in the tavern, someone Anna imagined would be a pleasant but unmemorable fuck, shatters. Not a disappointment, of course, but something unexpected. Anna will have to write, to Delilah and Sylas, to tell them that her stay in Vasselheim will take longer, but it will be worth it.

 _Yes_ , Ana thinks, as she feels nails much sharper than any normal human’s dig into Anna’s arm, _finding out more about Raishan will definitely be worth it._

 

* * *

 

Vorugal hates it, when Raishan bites at her neck.

It drives her wild and Raishan knows it. Mindless pleasure blending into mindless terror. She knows why, ever since she was born she always reacts strongly to people touching her neck.  The clan’s elder told Vorugal that sometimes the memories of past lives persist, under the skin of new flesh.

It’s lucky then, for Vorugal, that Raishan bears the same connection to the past.

Vorugal pushes Raishan back down against the bed, wrenching her teeth from Vorugal’s neck, and slams into the warmth of Raishan’s body. Raishan’s pathetic keen settles deep in Vorugal’s core and she wraps her hand around Raishan’s neck.

The reaction is instant.

Raishan’s nails dig deeply into Vorugal’s skin but she persists. Watches Raishan shudder, eyes rolling back as air becomes limited. Raishan can’t speak, she probably cannot even think much with the lack of air. Raishan still knows how to tighten around Vorugal’s cock, however, chasing pleasure like an animal.

Vorugal laughs even if she shares the same experience of shameful ecstasy each time Raishan’s teeth graze her neck.

She lets go of Raishan in time for her to inhale breath before Raishan screams out the exhale. Violently coming around Vorugal’s cock, back arching, breasts press up against Vorugal’s own chest, and the sight and pressure is just too good. Vorugal slams in once, twice more, before burying her cock deep inside Raishan and filling her.

Both of their heavy breathing fills the room and when Vorugal vision clears from the haze of orgasm she looks to find Raishan’s fingers pressing hard into the bruises on her throat. Tiny waves of pleasure going through her again. Vorugal can feel them slightly, from where she’s still inside Raishan.

It’s pleasant until Raishan smirks up at her.

Vorugal growls lowly and Raishan sweetens her grin to something soft, a lie, of course, but better than the know-it-all smugness before. Raishan found Vorugal’s sweet spot first—as if Raishan knew already, as if she was the one to cause it—and Vorugal believes that Raishan led Vorugal to finding Raishan’s own. The smirk proved as much. Raishan may not be as strong or hardy as Vorugal but she makes up for it in cleverness and expert manipulation.

The right words to crawl under Vorugal’s skin and spark rage, the perfect angle of her open neck to invite Vorugal’s hand.

Vorugal may not appreciate being tricked into it but she will always accept that invitation.

 

* * *

 

Anna knows that Orthax feels threatened by Raishan. The demon speaks only of her in Anna’s dreams where it is safe from Raishan’s eyes and ears. From her keen mind.

Anna also knows that Orthax is hungry for Anna’s soul, the list long completed but Orthax is still tied to her until she dies.

With Raishan, Anna has not died in one hundred years.

Orthax tries to convince her to betray Raishan, to instill some sort of fear that Raishan will betray her first if Anna does not act. Orthax attempts offers of power, of scared bodies for her experiments, of infinite knowledge. Orthax shows them all to Anna in her dreams.

But these dreams mean nothing when they are already Anna’s reality.

So Anna waits patiently as the images play out before her, she even enjoys it when Orthax displays the members of Vox Machina along her slabs, but does not give in to Orthax’s pleas. When Anna opens her eyes she finds Raishan watching her, Anna watches as Raishan’s curious look shift to a possessive and knowing smile and Anna meets it with one of her own.

 

* * *

 

As a ranger, Vorugal has some favoritism to hunting beasts.

Watching Raishan as she picks from the winnings first, having landed the final blow that should have been Vorugal’s, Vorugal entertains that she should have chosen to study hunting humans instead.

Raishan picks from the remains of the beast’s stomach a necklace with a beautiful emerald. Upon inspecting it Vorugal sees Raishan’s eyes light up in excitement. _It must be enchanted_ , Vorugal thinks and scoffs when Raishan takes more time to examine it further.

It’s the wrong thing to do, however, because Raishan’s eyes snap to Vorugal and with barely even a second passing Raishan grins.

“Don’t worry Vorugal,” she says, face softening, and Vorugal knows to be prepared for the biting remark because of it, “I’ll be quick. Quicker than you were with your arrows today.”

Preparedness does not stop Vorugal for tightening the grip on her bow.

However Thordaks voice, cutting through the incensed air between Raishan and her, does stop Vorugal from reaching for the arrow on her back.

“Stop,” he demands, as Thordak never asks, and Vorugal looks to him.

He is scowling, deep frown and furrowed brow etching lines into his face.

“Deal with her later when we’re in the tavern,” he says, addressing Vorugal only.

The look he gives her makes it clear that he knows how she will deal with Raishan. Vorugal fills with anger and shame for it. For how easy it is for Thordak to see her plans for Raishan, for how easily Vorugal allows Raishan’s clever wit to get to her. It is tempting to look down in shame, but Vorugal has enough pride to not show her disappointment so visibly.

Watching Raishan moves back to sift through more of the slain beast, Vorugal realizes something.

While she may not be able to snare Raishan’s mind in to any traps Vorugal knows how to trap her physically. They have been travelling together long enough for Vorugal to track Raishan’s movements, to guess some of the spells she will use in battle, to know what Raishan’s face appears when she is cornered like any other animal.

Vorugal may not have studied hunting humans but she has observed one particular human sorcerer.

Which is why Thordak has entrusted Raishan to her, Vorugal supposes.

Within their group Thordak handles their members, by helping them up or by bringing them in line, he is their leader. Right now he is helping Brimscythe reset Umbrsyl’s shoulder but Raishan, Raishan he has left to Vorugal. Vorugal knows that Raishan is his second in command; Thordak has left several responsibilities to her in the past. Despite their rivalry Vorugal can see Raishan’s skill in planning, her quick-thinking has saved them numerous times. However he has never let Raishan deal with another member of the group, Vorugal thought him is too possessive to let her but here he has appointed Vorugal to deal with Raishan.

His trust in Vorugal, in her skills and judgment, has grown.

When she glances at him he meets her gaze, she asks without speaking, if she is right. Deep in her core she hopes she is, prays even to some god that she is, something she has above Raishan. A moment passes before Thordak nods to her and she nods back quickly, full of pride. She won’t disappoint him.

She smiles, as she turns back to watch over Raishan, like a hunter would with prey.

**Author's Note:**

> [I'm on tumblr.](msbrokenbrightside.tumblr.com) Let me know what you think of this fic!


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